Lasagna Cat Part 4 - Sex Survey Results (2017)

Following on from Part 3.

[Updated 25/07/2021 - Out of sympathy for a comment posted in regards to this review, an additional note has been created.]

Major Spoilers Throughout

We conclude Lasagna Cat - from Garfield being crucified to shampoo bukkake - to an ending which somehow managed to top the following. If you the reader can forgive me for once making pop culture reference, if episode 07/27/1978 covered last time was the television ending of the anime series Neon Genesis Evangelion (1995), Sex Survey Results is The End of Evangelion (1997). It makes senses, to explain the reference to those who do not know what I am talking about, if one considers how the original Neon Genesis Evangelion started off with lighter tone for its darkness, and became progressively bleaker in the second half, as seasons one and two for Lasagna Cat were. 07/27/1978 is the equivalent of the very divisive final two episodes, pushing for the unexpected and esoteric, but with one leading to a male protagonist finally accepting himself and finding happiness; 07/27/1978 was Fatal Farm admitting even with some cheek that having made a parody of Garfield for over ten years, they could not hate it still after all these years.

The End of Evangelion was infamously the alternative ending which manages to be even darker than what transpired, scarred viewers which what transpired in one of the early scenes with beloved characters, had extreme avant-garde (and even live action) moments, and was a bleak ending with a cyclical nature to it. How Lasagna Cat decided to finish an alternative ending for itself was a four plus hour experimental piece repeating the same knock knock joke with sex survey information polled by fans. That was followed by a conclusion bleaker than anything before, and managing to scar viewers with what happens to beloved characters even after what had transpired in the two seasons before.

At the start of Season 2, when creators Zachary Johnson and Jeffrey Max had sat on new episodes for years and decided to use them, they had created a trailer where they included a gimmick for Season Two, providing a toll free number and asking viewers to call, providing a name and the number of sexual partners. The mechanics of Sex Survey Results itself, having so much to work with and not even using all the calls they got, is exceptional when learnt of, including a programmed Excel spreadsheet to time and plan out what they were to do with what they acquired. The work is split into two parts, the first four plus hours of a never ending cycle. Jon Arbuckle, than Garfield and then Odie are reading a newspaper only to answer the door.  A male or female mannequin answers from the other side for each of the trio, a call from the toll free number becoming a knock knock joke, repeated until all nine hundred and ninety nine used are concluded.

Honestly, I did struggle to get through the entire first half, simple because four hours of this is long. I will get into a lot of the interest of this segment, but as an extreme form of avant-garde cinema, and it deserves that genre tag, it is difficult and between the times I have covered this web series, I have had to break it up into pieces over weeks. And it is not a joke either to say "avant-garde" because when Andy Warhol could film Empire (1964), six plus hours of a continuous shot of the Empire State Building, this is in the same area of endurance. Technically, Sex Survey Results is also an achievement in resourcefulness by Fatal Farm, acquiring a full motiom camera rig¹ to film the material in a set built as a living room, meant to be a continuous shot as each knock knock joke becomes the newspaper comic for each character. Baring the set itself, they recorded outside footage beyond the door too for an extended time period that goes from day to night in real time, leading as well to a cameo by an ice cream truck early on alongside other sights.

It was a spectacle in spite of the moments of frustration trying to finish the first segment. I  do not consider it a piece of "trolling" either, intentionally meant to annoy people, but a thank you to fans, like thank you credits, turned into something offbeat and playful. All the voices calls from men and women vary. Some are jokes, including Donald Duck making a call or Monday telling Garfield (in one of the few times he shows emotion) he has been his partner every day of his life. One cast member from the animated series RWBY (2013-)  calls in, and also unfortunately Max Landis. Hindsight has shown a time when Max Landis, son of director John Landis, was growing into a pop culture figure as a screenwriter and commentator, only in December 2017 for accusations of sexual assault to become known, making his call and number of sexual partners eerie to listen to. Fatal Farm themselves cannot help time taking an effect on their work.

The amount of phone calls, nine hundred and ninety nine as mentioned, are arguably too much to digest. Practically this is closer to an installation piece where you should drift in and out of it, particularly as when you isolate messages, for everyone which merely states what is asked of, many do have things of note. Many exaggerate fake numbers of sexual partners, usually the number sixty nine, and a few go for jokes that Garfield especially groans at for us, such as when Adolf Hitler calls in. The interactions to the callers are all unique, filming Jeffrey Max as Jon Arbuckle, with even Oodie pronouncing each name in dog barks.

The choices, even before you get to certain figures, make a fascinating analysis in themselves among those who are stoned or being honest after trying to pass off a lie. Whilst some of the female callers make joke calls and exaggerate, for the most part you could argue that the high numbers of partners many state are entirely true as, in vast contrast to many male callers, there is not as much a case of them not taking the call seriously or trying to be funny. Quite a lot more male callers use fake names, make ridiculous voices or even impersonate Donald Trump, a vast contrast in a lot of the calls being longer and more likely to fall into tangents. Also to the person who did a call entirely in Morse Code (which is thankfully translated), they deserve extra brownie points*.

There are of course a few choice inclusions, to which the caller who has gained the most notoriety has to be "Raymond", who three calls eventually get towards him elaborating on his history with early online forums online where he would role-play scenarios with other uses including vore. To some viewers, how explicit he is as he narratives this is enough, but it is also a fascinating anecdote of a type of sexual kink from the perspective of forums where that was a lack of restrictions preventing it.

The endurance of the first half, even if split into bite sized pieces, is an acquired taste. Baring violent distortions of the mannequins over time, it stays as this for over four hours until the last ten or so minutes. Then things go south quickly for Jon Arbuckle...

The trailer for Season Two, asking for the calls, set up its finale in that Jon himself was the first caller, the one thousandth at the conclusion to the first segment, greeting himself at the door. It might seem odd he says he has had two sexual partners, especially as just from the comic strips used in the web series the character is an isolated bachelor. It gains weight knowing Jon was originally a stand-in for his creator Jin Davis originally, Davis marrying twice and having children from both marriages. Jon inside the house corrects the other, that he has had zero, shutting him out.

An old Jon is there now, Max in old age make up and balding hair piece, a real orange-reddish furred cat in the window a stand in as Garfield before he walks away from the house. Here it must be stated that a) I originally did not like this finale, perceiving it as empty shock value, only to come to a greater appreciation now, whilst b) Fatal Farm openly admitted there was no profoundness to what transpires, that it was to be their equivalent of 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) and The Holy Mountain (1973) combined¹.  Unintentionally or subtly deliberately, there is a meaning to read. What transpires infamously is the death of Jon Arbuckle, by way of a naked shaman painted as Garfield², to his resurrection when a girl in a public bathroom gives birth to him into a toilet.

And when I describe that, the level of explicitness includes (as documented) the creative duo acquiring the bottom half of a very realistic sex doll and shooting a certain shot³. It is ridiculous. Probably the most over-the-top detail is what the girl says before leaving the child there. Originally intended to be spoken in English, the actress cast informed Fatal Farm she could speak fluent Polish, and thus the following (un-subtitled) is what is spoken:

This child isn't mine. This child is from the darkness. I bore the humanity's curse. I can ask for mercy, which I won't get. My soul will be consumed and thrown up and then consumed again. Forever. Sick joke, but no one's laughing. My blood will stay. Death isn't the end. I'm in hell. This is hell.

I was a sourpuss about this originally; now it is intentionally either silly or the lyrics to a Norwegian black metal album. Take your pick. In all seriousness though, they clearly were touching upon a theme even if playfully. I mentioned in a previous part how Garfield has continually been resurrected, and this is a literal extreme of this. The old Jon we see cannot be anyone else but his creator Jim Davis, looking in on a permanently ageless version of him, now entirely separate. An alternative version is suggested in two mannequin people giving him a taxidermied cat, a version of Garfield, his creation now decrepit and kept alive as a dead cultural object, evoking a comment I made back when talking the music used in the First Season. Namely, that any pop cultural item that is presumed to be popular and made an institution, rather than actually loved, is effectively in purgatory.

But, whilst gruesome and lurid here, even when Davis passes Garfield will survive. It has already reincarnated multiple times. The eighties animation where Lorenzo Music as the voice of Garfield became for most the iconic version is one form. Another, love it or mock it, is Bill Murray voicing a CGI version. From 2009 to 2016, an animated series The Garfield Show has probably been what children of the next generation have grown up on. Davis is old, and Jon Arbuckle (the original main character in the first strip) is maligned as a side character, but even Lasagna Cat itself is a reincarnated form which keeps the property alive, arguing that irony (though not accusable against Fatal Farm) and parody does not kill hated properties but helps them thrive. Even here, a form of resurrection that will keep people talking about the comic strip took place, only it involves Jon now being a foetus in a blue sweater opening his eyes in the final shot, watched by a real Garfield, before cutting to orange.

******

Conclusion:

Maybe the sex survey segment was too long, but that is more an issue that it was never designed to be sat through as a four hour plus film. With the ending though it is definitely a climax to end the series on. Whether the Lasagna Cat project was ever resurrected itself is entirely now with the issue that, between this and 07/27/1978, it had two perfect endings and it will be difficult to ever follow them up.

The other question to ask is whether Lasagna Cat is abstract or not as an entire project. Absolutely. Having returned to the web series with more positivity, I cannot help but see this as ambitious and weird just from what I have referred to during this four part review. The first season is just a parody web series, still one of the better ones from the early days of YouTube but something I would not have covered unless as a bonus to another stranger project by Fatal Farm. Between the additional material I have no covered, to the entire premise and structure of Sex Survey Results, it is the second season where creators Zachary Johnson and Jeffrey Max completely turned the web parody inside out. Comedy tends to be ignored for how absurd it can be, the weirder it can be more easily accepted, but if you stop to think how Lasagna Cat, whilst conventionally structured, has taking a popular American comic strip character and put them through a shot-by-shot Miami Vice parody to an intense epilogue, then this project can be viewed as a parody web series taken to its extreme. All playing with its own structure and having a significant amount of hard work from the creators on a project they were aware they could never gain monetary results from.

Abstract Spectrum: Absurd/Avant-Garde/Comedic/Grotesque/Mindbender/Parody/Weird

Abstract Rating (High/Medium/Low/None): Medium

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1) PHOTO EVIDENCE

2) Played by a returning actor from their segment of Our Robocop Remake (2014), as he was comfortable doing full nude scenes.

3) An interview with Fatal Farm here can confirm this.

*) To the person who called in to Sex Survey Results in Morse Code, this review will provide them imaginary brownie points, and a thank you, if Fatal Farm themselves did not.