The Wicker Man (2006)

Director: Neil LaBute

Screenplay: Neil LaBute

Cast: Nicolas Cage as Edward Malus, Ellen Burstyn as Sister Summersisle, Kate Beahan as Sister Willow Woodward, Leelee Sobieski as Sister Honey, Frances Conroy as Dr. T.H. Moss, Molly Parker as Sister Rose / Sister Thorn, Diane Delano as Sister Beech, Mary Black as Sister Oak, Christine Willes as Sister Violet, Erika Shaye Gair as Rowan Woodward

A Night of a Thousand Horror (Movies)

 

OH, NO, NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES!

The perfect introduction to this remake is stating I had wanted to revisit the original 1973 directly to make comparisons, but decided against this as that would put Neil LaBute's film under an unfair shadow cast over it, let alone with the problems this has even if it had been an original premise. Contrary to popular belief though, I am going to argue no matter how ridiculous Nicolas Cage in a bear suit punching people out is, the real folly for this was how generic a lot of this film actually was for me to revisit, a slight horror film which missed out much of its loaded premise of a male cop Edward Malus, played by Cage, going to the island of Summersisle of the USA coast to track down a missing girl in a matriarchal commune.

The original Robin Hardy directed film has to be talked of in some form, and in context, that was the tale of a very Christian police office played by Edward Woodward, sent over to Summersisle off Scotland to a pagan community lead by Christopher Lee, a tale of the conflict of Judeo-Christian values and pagan heritage at a time past the sixties of re-evaluating mortality and spirituality. It was not always a canonical masterpiece, maligned as the b-side to a double feature bill and infamously with excised footage buried in a road under construction. Rebuilt to its intended form, it has lasted, and the issue the 2006 film had, with all remakes and sequels attempting to re-adapt these horror classics, is as with adaptations of classic horror literature, that they should be more what you can bring to them, something that needs to be more a concern then being "faithful". Screw remaking a film exactly, Neil LaBute could have really made his own weird folk horror film from an American's perspective, but instead you probably know how this (and laugh as I admit too) at Nicolas Cage screaming about the bees. Even as a huge fan of Cage who says he is one of the better parts of this production, this film became notorious for his career too.

Even without the shadow of the original Wicker Man over this, a lot of the issue I have is how LaBute made a pretty conventional horror film from the mid-2000s, which I sat through many from that time and was put off by their entire storytelling template even now. LaBute was from the American independent boom with films like Your Friends & Neighbours (1998), which suggested the potential for something very idiosyncratic with this film when it was being produced. These were also films however which lead to accusations that he was a misogynist for content in them, starring the likes of Aaron Eckhart as less than morally white male figures. LaBute, in mind to this, positioned himself in a loaded premise of Cage as the lone male in a world of women, where they are manufacturers of honey with any men he encounters mindless drones. Tellingly though, with Nicolas Cage reflecting on how he originally wanted the ending of the film more gruesomely absurd than it became, with him keeping the bear suit on even for the denouement¹, there was a sense that, in another context, this could have been more intentionally ridiculous than unintentionally as it became. The issue of gender politics part of the tonic whiplash this could have used for a point becomes less interesting, or one would hope would be for LaBute as he was the screenwriter as well as the director, because Cage plays his role as increasingly more dubious as he goes on. Considering Cage's character progresses from a heroic figure to become a questionable loose cannon, you see there was a misanthropic edge to all this. The original film had this, where Edward Woodward would be the hero to some, but with others in the cinema likely cheering on the pro-sex, musically vibrant pagans to roast him alive. Even if I became a mindless drone, a man like me would still cheer on the matriarchal cult here, led by Ellen Burstyn, over a man who pulls a gun on a woman to steal her bicycle, even if to rescue his daughter from a sinister cult she belongs.

The issue with the film instead becomes how standard this is, in that you have to wade through a lot of stock scenes of suspense which were the reason I once viewed this as one of the worst I had seen. Cage's character offers a potentially interesting figure, scarred by seemingly seeing a mother and daughter die as a highway patrolman, and reconnecting to an old flame (Kate Beahan) who left his life and whose daughter he is trying to find is likely his too. Cage plays this as a neurotic, as this nods to the question whether this community, said to sacrifice someone for replenishing their harvest, really believe that would happen and would attempt to try it out. Unfortunately nothing is made of Cage's mind in context of this, buying positivity self help tapes and someone with clear emotional issues, a type of character Cage would work with well, as he is very good at playing neurotic and morally unstable figures. I admit a bias to him, but his performances makes sense, already someone who hallucinates and is anxiety ridden, only to become more deranged and eventually expose himself with misogynistic comments. Even before the end, he shows as Woodward a sense of superiority that makes him a literal phallus, and that sense our hero, even if the mission is a noble one, is the wrong person for this. In another work this moral ambiguity, as the first version of this film, would be compelling.

This film was not helped by when it was made, absorbing a lot of the trademarks of horror films coming from Hollywood I grew up with at the time in the mid-200s, including coming at a time when a theatrical cut and an uncensored "mature" cut existed to sell the HD discs. For what could potentially be a problematic film in subject, it becomes not really about "evil feminists", but one where the feminist cult could be replaced with a vague one with any genders in power. Nowadays Cage's increasingly notorious line readings feels on point, even if he was the only one to read the tone right, to someone losing his mind as he goes, whilst my problems are from that everything else, that did not become on online meme, plays it too safe as a horror film. This leaves the middle acts to the bad habit in horror films I saw from this decade, minus jump scares, of pulling the carpet under your viewers over and over until it loses all weight to them. Be it false attempts to put Cage in peril to the many times he thinks he is seeing his daughter, only to realise he is dreaming, it is the tone of an action film in an inappropriate position, causing one to react as for an action film when we should only accept this pacing tone for a horror action film or a really good haunted house equivalent. This is the problem here as we never really get more about Cage, barely touching his character, or Ellen Burstyn as the leader of this commune of women and how they exist as more than just a sinister entity that may burn children, something explicitly part of the virtues of the original 1973 film even if they had not had the inspired decision to cast Christopher Lee who could provide sympathetic gravitas.

The thing about the original 1973 Wicker Man too, why it likely did not succeed back in the day but has its legacy, is that it is an unconventional and eccentric film. The plot is far less important in the original to its themes, its sensuality, and how it is technically a musical, as famous for its folk music and traditional songs as the performances and shocking conclusion. None of this is to be found in equivalence in the 2006 Wicker Man, and it is telling Cage became the iconic figure here because everything else is safe and/or not standing out at all. [Spoilers] Yes, it is pointlessly lurid, to a sick humoured level, to break his legs and sting him with bees, before putting him in the Wicker Man, but Cage screaming “Killing me won’t bring back your goddamn honey!” is among the few moments of personality, even if I laughed, because it has an energy to it. [Spoilers End] The notoriety of the film does feel over the top with hindsight, especially as whilst Nicolas Cage was able to ride the wave of this, Neil LaBute whilst still thankfully working after this probably took a shot in the chest with this as a big studio film for him, an albatross he would be stuck with. In the end, it is bad, but not infamous, just generic.

 

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1) Nicolas Cage on his legacy, his philosophy of acting and his metaphorical — and literal — search for the Holy Grail, written by David Marchese and published for the New York Times on August 7th 2019.

Archival Review: Next (2007)

From http://1.fwcdn.pl/po/17/22/
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Director: Lee Tamahori

Screenplay: Gary Goldman, Jonathan Hensleigh and Paul Bernbaum

Cast: Nicolas Cage (as Cris Johnson); Julianne Moore (as Callie Ferris); Jessica Biel (as Liz Cooper); Thomas Kretschmann (as Mr. Smith); Tory Kittles (as Cavanaugh)

Unfortunately the site that I wrote for, Videotape Swapshop, is no more. This is sad for me having enjoyed writing reviews for the site, but it also means that there'll be links to reviews from that site which are now dead. I do however have all the reviews I ever written for them, god willing, that can be reposted. The following was supposed to be part of an ongoing series reviewing every Nicolas Cage film (yet) made; instead of rewriting it, like I will do for all the other reviews, I'll leave it in its original form and only add additional notes for any context that might be missing transferring it to this site. I will not add any notes on whether these films are "abstract" either, only with some of them possibly being covered properly for this blog in the future in a new piece.

As for whether I should continue reviewing every Nicolas Cage film ever made, I may continue it on this blog as an additional feature even if it proved at points with some of the films watched to be painful. As much as Cage is one of my favourite actors, the reason why the review series was started, I realise now that like many actors his filmography is far from perfect.

I find myself stuck with trying to write about Next. I wonder why it was ever made in the first place in fact, another in a long list of failed Philip K. Dick adaptations where the comedic punch line is that, beyond the central premise, the adaptations are said to be so far removed from the novels and stories that its laughable to make comparisons. Blade Runner (1982) is that immense exception as most have vanished into obscurity, the only faithful take coming from indie wunderkind Richard Linklater with the strange, rotoscoped A Scanner Darkly (2006). Of course within the recent year or so Dick has had a small resurgence when Amazon Prime decided to make an original programme for its site based on The Man In The High Castle; whether it could succeed in bringing Philip K. Dick into the mainstream again is unknown, but it will immediately have more success than Next, a failure if there ever was one in the Nicolas Cage filmography as well.

Playing Frank Cadillac aka. Cris Johnson, Nicolas Cage is a Las Vegas magician who can see exactly two minutes into the future, able to use it to win modest sums of money and dodge punches before they're thrown. When he is in-avertedly caught doing something suspicious at a casino and manages to flee from the security in a ludicrous and random car chase, it catches the attention of FBI Special Agent Callie Ferris (Julianne Moore) who wants to use his psychic powers to find a terrorist group and the nuclear bomb they've snuck into US soil. Cadillac is more concerned with a mysterious woman who, when she is central in his mind, allows him to see further in time, spending his time in a cafe awaiting the day he finally meets her, a woman who teaches on an Indian reservation called Liz Cooper (Jessica Biel). Unfortunately with both the FBI and the terrorists themselves after him Cadillac effectively puts Liz in danger and will have to rely on his psychic gift to protect her and save the world.

If there is anything of good in Next it's that it does try to be clever with Cadillac's ability to see in the future. A lot of wrong footing takes place with an incident happening only for the film to go back in time and for it to reveal that it was a precognition, something that will feel like a cheat for many but for me actually made the film vaguely interesting. This is definitely the case with the ending, which could feel like an utter cop-out, but was fun. There's even some moments of inspiration such as Cadillac trying out various pick up lines to greet Liz only for all of them to fail and having to try something much different, or when very later on he has to find where the terrorists are by literally splitting into duplicates to follow each route.  In the perfect world this could've easily made the film great, even as a silly action sci-fi, if it had a good backbone behind it.

Unfortunately, as the last paragraph warned of, an inspired idea cannot save a film if the rest is so badly compromised. Over ninety minutes the rest is a terrible, bland waste where the first warnings of its failings are when he has to do an opening monologue over himself doing things to explain the premise¹. Despite critical acclaim for Once Were Warriors (1994) in his native New Zealand, Tamahori does sadly hold the mantle of the director of the worse James Bond film so far made, Die Another Day (2002), although I suspect that was as much compromise from the producers that lead to the disaster it was. Next is just as bland, barring its clever use of its premise a complete and utter waste of time. You can imagine a more entertaining Cannon Pictures adaptation from the eighties which would run with the premise and its comically Euro trash villains, but made in 2007 the result is un-dynamic and drab.

Probably the most ludicrous aspect of the film alongside some of the most dreadful CGI effects I've seen in a while, including a train, is the cast it has. Biel and Cage have some charisma, but Moore really does feel like a sore thumb amongst the trio, to the point you could've helped the film out if you excised her scenes and added more drama in her place. In a world where Cage's ability is under suspicion without context for others to believe her, you wouldn't follow her beliefs to pursue Cadillac if you were a senior member of the FBI, not only wasting man power and money but leading to potential embarrass and cheap jokes likes for those in the US military who thought they could weaponize psychic powers by killing goats through the power of staring². That the only way his power can be of any use is through Liz Cooper being a deus ex machina makes Special Agent Callie Ferris not only too big in her britches with her orders but useless.

The film feels too brisk in plotting to the point that its twist ending is far from being an embarrassment to end all embarrassments but a relief in its cheesiness. So much in the film is lacking of vitality that this review is exceptionally short without padding it like I have [, with this standing]³ up as another of the worse Cage films I've covered⁴, not technically incompetent but bad in its average nature and waste of existence. Like a lot of action and sci-fi films of its ilk, Philip K. Dick adaptations or not, it's so mediocre one finds difficulty in writing anything about it.

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^1. One of the more odder discoveries of the Nicolas Cage Project as it was originally called was how many of his films rely on him giving voiceover during introductions to his characters' lives. He has a great voice, for the screen and for radio, but these voiceovers appeared in a lot of bland films I covered and proved to be a warning of the staleness of the final film baring a few exceptions (Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012)) where the monologue given to him had more spark to them.

^2. Unfortunately, like for many amateur and professional writers of film reviews, you read some of the jokes you originally wrote and cringe with embarrassment at how leaden they are. Expect some really bloated sentences from some of these reviews as much as some vaguely interesting insights, the former something I had mostly excised in my reviews over the years but occasionally appearing in clumsy references like this.

^3. The review hadn't been completely checked over when Videotape Swapshop sadly ended, so some grammatical errors had to be dealt with without compromising the original text.

^4. Unfortunately there'll be some terrible films being brought up as I post these old reviews and maybe cover more of them anew. Cage is a great actors, as I'll defend in this reviews, better than the films themselves in many cases, but the post Wicker Man material is going to exhibit a lot of pain on my part...