Sorority Babes in the Dance-A-Thon of Death (1991)

 

Director: Todd Sheets

Screenplay: Todd Sheets and Misty Wolfe

Cast: Kelly Hodges as Tiffany; Lisa Krueger as Beverly; Holly Starr as Liz; Laura Fuhrman as Kelly; Craig Wilcox as Jimmy; Jenny Admine as Muffy; Veronica Orr as Sherry; J.T. Taube as Chuck; Matthew Lewis as Tommy; Liz Marchicello as Sandra; Carles Monroe as Mr. Ray; Emmet Brennen as Hank; Carol Barta as Bertha

A Night of a Thousand Horror (Movies)

 

Fuzzy VHS print, teased out eighties hair for a female demon exorcist who looks like a member of a female glam metal band, and micro budget gore can only open up an early Todd Sheets film. Sadly however, alongside the fact that character never returns, and is apparently from the early 20th century despite being dressed like an extra in a Mötley Crüe video, this is the one film as a fan of Todd Sheets even I have to admit needs to be approached with caution, even as someone who appreciated films like Goblin (1993) to Nightmare Asylum (1992) in spite of their flaws.

And yes, this is meant as a tie-in to David DeCoteau's Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988) in name, which is apt as he is an executive producer here, having produced a few of Todd Sheets films from this time. Unlike DeCoteau's film, where a sorority initiation ceremony at a bowling alley conjures up a genie, here a sorority initiation is going to happen, to stay at an abandoned collage all night, and someone made the bad idea to buy an old crystal ball for the pyjama party and hold a séance. The crystal ball smokes before they even get there, knocks the sorority members out and, confused waking up, now have problems other than what to do that night at the party. Two guys trying to get in will be dragged into this scenario, and an elderly heterosexual couple, regretting the crystal ball being sold from their antique store, look at get it safely back.

I think even diehard fans of Todd Sheets would admit this is a difficult film to appreciate if they have watched this, Sheets' career a prolific one from 1984 where, barring from 2005 to 2013, he has been making films for multiple decades with his earliest work the most micro-budget of homemade regional horror films in the VHS medium. Those early films are acquired tastes, but even next to Nightmare Asylum, one of the more difficult films from this era, this is a dry and improvised film at even only an hour long. Charm is found appreciating the director's personality onscreen, including Enochian Key providing the music (barring the public domain classical pieces), but this is a languid film of plot and a lot of dialogue. There is some moments here for me as someone able to appreciate these films, such as the humour in an ordinary older man, who inherited the crystal ball, talking in a banal shooting location about his grandmother accidentally summoning a kandarian demon as if it is a normal conversation piece, or a non-copyright infringing version of the game Twister called "Bimbo Twister", with person shaped pads like Warrior Green or Bimbo Brown.

There is however a lot even I struggled with, not even the randomness (and production and sound issues) of Nightmare Asylum in hindsight as difficult as this could be. There is a lot of talking, even Wayne's World references, heavily improvised and with the sense this film seems not fully formed.  There is even the sense of this with Todd Sheets being compromised, as the premise of a possessed sorority member stalking people in an abandoned collage is far less elaborate than Zombie Rampage (1989), an earlier film from him. I come to this wanting to see this film for years but it is really an odd duck where the one consistent aspect to any of this is being a self mocking micro budget film that teases jokes about micro budget horror films. It is amusing at times, such as the sorority member obsessed with movies about homicidal ice cream men who turns the lights off for a joke at the worst time, but it also has an ominous hindsight to it as if the film is admitting self defeat at its lack of success and is mocking itself.

My youngest self would have despised this film, and in terms of exploitation too, there is not a lot here too. Despite the passing reference to "gazoongas", I would not expect nudity from a film like this from its female cast, trying their hardest, but more surprising is the lack of gore. It is not needed either but with Todd Sheets, who is a proud fan of horror cinema, one of the charms of these early films was the pure throw anything at the wall sense of fun they had, even if it was animal guts from the butchers as improvised human intestines. The closest here is a stake through the mouth shot with it behind the actor's head in the right place with no gore, or the possessed using the primary schoolyard trick of how to show you have taken your eyeballs out to let someone know you have turned. Again, it feels like Todd Sheets' hands were tied behind his back or something was off. People not used to these films would even hate Goblin, full of splatter, but now a production like that has an additional goofiness and charm to appreciate.

What you get here is ultra minimalistic, a lot of improvised talking, and you can even hear someone (likely Sheets himself) say "Cut!" at the end of a scene, which becomes something not to mock but actually a memorable moment by accident. What is on purpose when it occasionally happens can be amusing and why I like these types of films, such as the possessed with a cheese eating grin on her face pogoing herself in a door repeatedly, or accidentally confusing saline water for corns on feet for holy water. Even for those prepared for a film like this thought, I still have to warn them about the sluggishness of the film, as well as anyone with epilepsy as the final exorcism scene will be an issue for anyone with this. I was prepared for years that Sorority Babes in the Dance-A-Thon of Death was a challenge, but I still feel disappointed that this was the case. I hoped it would gain a perverse entertainment against its clear flaws. It is a film worth preserving in Todd Sheets' career in terms of how unpredictable it is as an independent micro-budget filmmaker at the time, as it belongs to the delirium of his earliest work, but I would approach it sadly with the patience of a saint.