Deadtime Stories (1986)

 

Director: Jeffrey Delman

Screenplay: Jeffrey Delman, J. Edward Kiernan and Charles F. Shelton

Cast: Scott Valentine as Peter, Nicole Picard as Rachel, Matt Mitler as Willie, Cathryn de Prume as Goldi Lox, Melissa Leo as Judith "MaMa" Baer, Kathy Fleig as Miranda, Phyllis Craig as Hanagohl, Michael Mesmer as Uncle Mike, Brian DePersia as Little Brian, Kevin Hannon as Beresford "Papa" Baer, Timothy Rule as Wilmont "Baby" Baer, Anne Redfern as Florinda

A Night of a Thousand Horror (Movies)

 

You little vixens! A bit of bondage aye?

Returning to horror anthologies, Deadtime Stories stems from a father trying to get his son to sleep rather than jump up and down on his bed over the night, presenting a really eccentric trio of fairy tale reinterpretations. This is set up from just the opening credits. If you ever wanted to hear a metal guitar licked tale, from the mid eighties, of the three little pigs and other tales, these credits are for you as it also emphasises the absurd tone ahead, a literal song evoking Hitchcock and George Romero, and how our bedtime tales as kids induced terror and were violent. The first story is about a young man named Peter, Scott Valentine early in a career before he would star in the likes of Family Ties, between seasons 4 through 7, sold into servitude to two witches. A period story in medieval times, if full of eighties hair, none of these stories have anything really elaborate to them, as he is assigned to get a guy over to their lair, a randy priest no less, under the belief two lovely ladies are there in a cave randomly to sex him. Intoxicating the priest and taking a severed hand from him, the witches intend to use it as the beginning of their plan to locate their sister's grave, to resurrect her. It is a very simple tale, a maiden being prepared for a sacrifice, which plays to a sense of humour. It also shows one of the few moments of elaborate special effects which, when they appear, are a surprise in their elaborateness and willingness to be gory too.

From here on, the tales Uncle Mike tells to his nephew Brian become more unconventional, in contrast to a medieval Europe with access to hairspray, as he is missing the Miss Nude Vampire competition on TV. His take Little Red Riding Hood involves a sexy high school grad named Rachel coming home from cheerleading practice, played by Nicole Picard, having lustful thoughts imagining her reflection as her boyfriend when introduced, whose red cloak is a red hoodie for jogging. You would presume that this take on the wolf, played by Matt Mitler of the slasher The Mutilator (1984), in tight leather pants and a leather skinny tie, is a junkie who gets the wrong "medicine" from a shady drug store employee and our lead Rachel's grandmother getting what was intended for him. Then however he turns into an actual werewolf, and you get this anthology is wacky by this point.

Wacky is the word for Deadtime Stories in general, which I appreciate for the fact that it never becomes lazy and conventional even if the stories are absurd and pure cheese. It is a one-off as I never expected this to be as eccentric as this became, which you especially see with the final story. This is a weird take on Goldilocks and the Three Bears, and the "Baer" family are a father and son, known for crimes, being bust out of an asylum by the mother, only topped by the fact that Goldilocks (Cathryn de Prume) is a serial killer, with various decaying male suitors around her current home, and also has psychic powers. Truthfully, Deadtime Stories never lives up to the potential of an anthology, in making the stories really stand out, and this story is less horror than a bizarre dark comedy. It is a premise that could have been enough as a weird cult eighties film you dig up decades later on a streaming service, but even that is a compliment for the third story, as ridiculous as it sounds and memorable in the slight form you can see it through here.

For those wanting to watch an eccentric horror film from the eighties, this segment is the one which lives up to that promise, if you want something which plays as a strange comedy segment rooting on murderers. A film like this would only be made in the lower budget straight to streaming/DVD world nowadays. That is not a detriment to those later films, but with the sheen of an independently made New York production, this definitely has a tone which is lost when the budget for a production like this would not be the same a decade on. It was a film I had no expectations for, never expected it to be this eccentric, and glad for this when I have sat through some generic work when randomly selecting a film to watch. Least with this, you find yourself reading these premises and, whilst not necessarily the best anthology segments in terms of elaborate stories, I can confirm they least had a personality.